Late-Night Personalities Lampoon Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Visa Program

Television's prominent comedians devoted their airtime ridiculing ex-President Donald Trump's recently launched visa program, labeled the "golden visa," characterizing it as a obvious pay-for-access system for the affluent.

The Late Show's Pointed Analysis

Kicking off his show, Stephen Colbert delivered a sardonic holiday song targeting the president. "He is compiling a list, reviewing it twice, and then handing that list to the agents at ICE," he sang. "The President ... ruins all he touches."

Colbert's target was the new plan which enables international nationals to buy U.S. residency for the price of one million dollars, or "top-tier" version for five million. An official page promises approval "in record time."

"A brief message here to wealthy immigrants: before you pony up, have you considered Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He pointed out that the card is also designed to "get cash" from businesses wishing to hire foreign workers, with significant fees. "That's a lot of fees, but if you register, you additionally get free accommodation at a hotel of your choosing – provided that it's the a specific Marriott," he added.

"Unprecedented background check the government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to make sure these applicants completely meet the standard to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert responded. "The initial query: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Critique

On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the visa program the "U.S. Access Express Card."

"Here's a card that will allow rich international individuals to live here," he said. "For a million bucks, you get legal visitor status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one serious crime of your choice."

"Perhaps it's time to revise that poem on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your tired masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel lampooned the lack of detail of the application, noting it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Indeed, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "That's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Affordability Issues

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's declining approval ratings amid economic worries. "People gave Donald Trump a second term because they were angry about the economy," he noted.

This week, in a effort to tackle affordability, Trump held a press conference in front of a selection of grocery items, where he behaved strangely to boxes of cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a ages."

"Trump is so incredibly weird," Meyers reacted. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by criticizing right-leaning news coverage of Trump's financial record. "Perhaps instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy like the one FIFA did," he laughed.